You give love a bad name

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. This year I've decided to celebrate in the traditional way, by eliminating several of my gangland rivals in a garage. Anyone who wants to be a witness, then head to Florida on a train with an all-female orchestra should let me know by noon.

Tonight I'm going to head to Bender's for some good local music, so that should give you a good headstart on your getaway.