Dazed and Bemused

Drunken recollections, boring anecdotes, and obscure references

Friday, October 05, 2007

I want to be a part of it

This would be a good time to still live in New York. The escaped mental patients that form The Giraffes will be spreading their alcohol-fueled message of shattered hope and depraved love for all mankind to B. B. King's on 10/8 for a free show. If your ears haven't been ruined by too many andogynous Emo bands, check 'em out.

It's no secret to even a casual reader of this blog that I think
Born in the Flood is not only one of the best bands ever to come out of Colorado, but a great band period (and it's not just me that thinks so this time). They'll be tearing it up in NYC from 10/17-10/20 for a series of CMJ related rockularity. There's a non-zero chance I can get you on the guest list for one, no promises though.

Pylon at Mercury Lounge on 11/7. This one sells itself.

In Colorado show news, this weekend it's a Nathaniel Rateliff twin spin, with Born in the Flood tonight, and his side project The Wheel tomorrow, both at the Hi-Dive.

Next Friday the 12th, Dr. Dog with The High Strung bring a double dose of pop and happy hardcore to the Larimer.

Very excited about this one. Ron Fountenberry used to record as The Incredible Moses Leroy. He's now got a full band, and they are called Softlightes. They're bringing their happy, sparkly, tinkly, soulful goodness to The Hi-dive on 10/23.

Rumor has it Monofog and Nathan & Stephen will be sharing the stage on Halloween at the Hi-Dive. If it's true, remember you heard it here first. Otherwise forget I said anything.

The New Pornographers get the first spot on my November calendar as of now, they'll be at the Gothic on 11/5.

Stars have gone from a band I'd vaguely heard of to one of my current favorites in the span of about 6 weeks. Their new album is great (and all their stuff is on EMusic), though it took me a few listens to really get into it, it was well worth the effort. They'll be at the Gothic on 11/6. Maybe I can just crash after the NPs show.

Alan can barely make it out


Friday, August 17, 2007

If you listen, with your ears, you will find out, something dirty

I think I want to consume irresponsible amounts of alcohol tonight. If any of you lurkers want to blow your cover and join me, holla.

I had so much fun at the UMS last Saturday I want to do it again this weekend. Make that happen peeps.

Riverboat Gamblers are at the Bluebird on 9/8. It's a Saturday night, so no fucking excuses.

The Hives are playing Denver in October, which would normally be cause for celebration, except that they're opening for Maroon 5 at the Sports-arena-of-bad-sound-and-ridiculous-numbers-of-Chads. If I've mentioned this before, it's because I'm bitter, understandably so in my expert opinion.

Been listening to an advance of the new Stars record, In Our Bedroom After the War. Not as immediately accessible as the last one, but definitely worth a few more listens before I either embrace it or consign it to the meh pile.

In other Emusic news, they recently added the last Blonde Redhead record, 23. If you haven't already sucked the bullet and bought that elsewhere do it now without delay, I'll wait.

Alan would climb any mountain, sail across the stormy sea


Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Well I think it's fine, Watching Summer Rain

Random mash notes

The new Spoon album dropped yesterday, Joe Bob says check it out twice.


Watch this here video thingamajig, and if you don't recognize the voice of the female vocalist, you're not paying enough attention to the local bands I obsess about.


Maximo Park and Tokyo Police Club both play the Larimer next week, don't say you didn't know later.


Alan will sing to you in French


Tuesday, February 13, 2007

You try to leave, but I'll be standing in your way

Go buy the new Born in the Flood CD, or for your shopping pleasure, click the link and order online from the comfort of your own computer. Saw them on Friday at the CD release show and they were fantastic as always. Nathan and Stephen also have a kickin' new CD, though it's hard to capture the sheer joyfulness of their live performance.

So, I didn't watch the Grammy awards. However I am aware that a band from Colorado was nominated in the Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal category. I'm not a big fan of The Fray, they don't do a lot for me musically, and they do seem have gotten plugged into the Clear Channel Marketing buzzsaw a bit too much for my Indie sensibilities. Still I don't have anything against them. However, clearer evidence that I move in a completely different musical world than the big-market pop bands was an a snippet of an interview I heard on, naturally, one of the approximately 47 Clear Channel stations in Denver. They were asking the lead vocalist what he thought of the other nominees in his categories and he said he'd heard of all of them except The Raconteurs.

Upcoming (bigger) shows I'll likely be at. Feel free to run with me, stop by to say Hi, or take a nap on me.

TV on the Radio w/Subtle, 3/20 at the Ogden
Neko Case, 4/5 at the Gothic
Ted Leo, 4/22 at the Gothic

Alan has got the Poison


Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Six, Six, Six for my sorrow

So apparently Paula doesn't have 6 real bloggers to tag, and has chosen your reluctant hero. This branch of the meme tree may wither and die with me though, since I'm struggling to think of six other bloggers that haven't already been tagged. I'll edit if I come up with some.

1) I always hang up my t-shirts while they are still damp from the laundry and hang them in the closest. Apparently some people dry them completely and fold them instead.

2) I don't like to use bar soap in the shower, and probably have less than 100 times in the last 25 years. I either use shampoo lather or body wash cream soaps.

3) "How old are you?" is a question I think I should be able to answer instantaneously, but I always have to think about it.

4) My eyebrows are starting to grow extremely oddly, and want to stick straight out rather than nestle neatly together close to my head. I feel weird about moussing them but I may be forced to.

5) In other eyebrow news, I can not remember a time when I could not arch my left eyebrow, and I do so easily and naturally. I spent some portion of my youth trying to learn the knack of doing the right one also, but was unsuccessful. Then out of the blue about 10 years ago I suddenly started being able to do it, though I have to think about it, and the muscles on that side aren't nearly as toned and ripped.

6) I am extremely anal about centering my car in parking places, to the point that I will get back in and adjust it if I feel it is too far off. I wax wroth with those that do not at least make a token effort to do the same.

Arguably using language like "wax wroth" also qualifies as a quirk.

Alan is about to kissoff into the air


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

I tried to phone, she wasn't home

Funny how the mind works (mine, at least). I selected an album in WinAmp that I haven't heard in a long time, and before it started or the track list came up, I started mentally hearing the first song. The thing is, if you'd asked me what the first song was on that record I wouldn't have been able to tell you.

But still, the hook brings Alan back


Monday, December 04, 2006

Let me take you on a trip

I'm really enjoying The Evens' new record, check it out here

Criminally late non-news, but The Riverboat Gamblers really do put on one of the greatest live shows you'll ever see. I saw Thunderbirds Are Now! a week after and they also were not lackadaisical in their stage demeanor.

I'm spending an awful lot of time playing this game. My friend Doug from Monofog now only answers to the name Warhammer, by the way.

I bought a new big boy bed over the weekend. It's the nicest one I've ever had, but also far and away the tallest (top of the bed is around 28-29 inches off the ground). While it's awesome not to have to bend my creaky knees much getting in and out of it, I think if I fell out of it the drop would kill me, or at least wake me up. It's all part of my master plan to start living like an adult instead of a college student. Now if I could just learn how to cut my own meat....

Alan is going to let his hands do the soothing


Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Do you believe in something beautiful?

Vote, just do it.

Alan doesn't have anything clever to sign off with today


Monday, August 07, 2006

I'll Tear Your Mind Out, I'll Burn Your Soul

Don't have time the long blog you all deserve, but wanted to get a few quick hits in.

I saw X and the Rollins Band Saturday Night at the Ogden, and it was just delightful. The guys Henry has backing him up were just fantastic, and he played blistering versions of a lot of my favorites, including playing Low Self Opinion early in the set, which meant I could relax and stop worrying he wouldn't play it.

X was superb, the original line-up, all at the top of their game, almost two hours with encores and they would have played longer I think if it weren't for the Midnight curfew on shows that aren't 21 and up. Almost all my favorites, with the exceptions of Burning House of Love and 4th of July, which my guess would either have been their third encore or which they chose not to play for other reasons (such as Billy Zoom didn't play on 4th of July).

I was also excited about the scheduled opening act, The Riverboat Gamblers, whose records I love and who I hear put on a fantastic live set, however, for the third straight time they cancelled out on Denver. Rumor has it they had transportation problems. I know stuff happens, but if they were a girl my friend Denver was dating I'd be telling Denver to DTMFA.

Sunday afternoon was a beer-soaked punk rock hoedown, featuring Frontside Five, Black Lamb, Tard!, a cool countrified acoustic set from Jett Black, Lyin' Bitch and the Restraining Orders, and me doing a couple of songs with One Time Only. Started off with Black Flag's "Rise Above" which unfortunately fell off the rails right after the break, but was well-received, and The Ramones' "Commando" which we nailed. Some other guys did some songs, too. Read their blogs for details ;P.

Drive by Alan's house late at night, you can see it from the highway above


Saturday, July 15, 2006

Come here baby, I love your company

Paula might disagree, but side 3 and 4 (Disc 2 for you youngsters) of this record is some mighty fine morning listening.

My new clever plan for increasing the fun in Super Happy Fun Time Karaoke is getting the local bands I know to make mp3 versions of some of their songs without vocal tracks for coolth and hipth.

Yesterday, on my way to the bar for the usual Friday night toxification, I stopped at the drive-through ATM at my bank (Cash make the drinks flow). After patiently waiting my turn in the hot, hot, Africa hotness, I pulled up to the terminal and the screen was asking if I wanted my card back or to go to the Main Menu. I correctly diagnosed this as the previous user leaving their card in the machine, and without a moment's hesitation I punched the button to retrieve the card and set off in pursuit of the car that was still in the parking lot of the bank just a few seconds ahead of me, tapping my horn and waving the gold ATM card out the window like Johnny making a pterodactyl. I finally succeeded in getting the driver's attention, got out of the car and handed it to a young lady who was too engrossed in her cell phone conversation to do more than mutter a grudging "thanks" without making any kind of eye contact or other acknowledgement of my humanity. I wasn't expecting an offer of sexual favors or anything, but a little more warmth for all of the two second contact we had wouldn't have left me with a sour taste in my mouth and the desire to go back in time and withdraw as much cash as I could have from her account. And I'm taking the woman by herself/Big intimidating man thing into account. This was at 4 PM in a busy parking lot on a major street with a security guard 10 feet away.

The Friday night ritual was successly completed however, and there were no dead hookers in my trunk this morning, which is always a relief. I had a tasty and delicious cup of French press coffee at SML this morning, and I'm ready and willing to procrastinate the day away.

Only Alan can bring the rain


Friday, June 30, 2006

Your pathetic little stabs at staying young

I've been trying to write about the awesomeness that was The Giraffes show last Friday for a week, but it's just something that had to be experienced. You can get some slight idea of the insanity by looking at my friend Glory's photos. If you ever get a chance to see these lads live in a small club, spare no expense for a ticket and plan on cabbing it home. You can also stream some tracks on their Myspace page.

Alan can barely make it out.


Monday, June 19, 2006

You suck your thumb tenderly

Lordy, lordy lordy. Busy weekend of rocking and rolling and drinking responsibly. Friday night if was the Frontside Five new CD release show. Was great fun, and they played a bunch of songs I hadn't heard before, which was cool. Only dark note was the dickhead who kept slamming me from behind, not in an accidental way, which I'm used to at punk shows, but in a "Fuck you for not participating" kind of way.

Saturday it was the Westword Music showcase. I called my friend Dekin around 2 to see if he wanted a ride, and he was over at another mutual friend's house, to which I was invited for a drink, which turned into several hours of World Cup viewing, margarita imbibing, and fajita consuming. Finally got both of us moving in the same direction long enough to make it to the car, and headed down to the showcase around 6. Saw The Laylights, who I thought were pretty good, Born in the Flood, who were incredible as always, and Yo Flaco, who were interesting, but I thought a little uneven. I guess I was exuding an air of knowledgeable authority that day, a couple of people who'd showed up at the main stage for the Yo Flaco set while Born in the Flood was playing asked me about them, and I was happy to shamelessly promote their record.

Then it was down to the Larimer for a set from Buzzard, who are friends of mine who are too lazy to even put up a Myspace page, but bring the hard rock goodness.

Then to the Hi-Dive for Stab! Heart! Kiss! Kill!, who were ok, but not treated kindly by the sound system, which is always dicey there. Then Monofog, who tore it up, despite the sound issues, and a tasty set from The Swayback. In a nice bit of circularity, I watched the Monofog set with the guitarist for Born in the Flood, who I know to speak to, and he was appropriately impressed. Those two bands are so wicked awesome, I want lots of good things to happen to them.

Alan gives it all by degrees


Friday, June 16, 2006

Epitaph This, Evolution That

Check out a tasty new track from The Swayback and Shawn Astrom. Recorded entirely by children, that's right, children. Please, won't you give these kids a chance? Out of the Trance

Alan don't have time, dig?


Wednesday, June 14, 2006

This could be the big one

So how are you planning on spending your Saturday? The cool kids will be here.

Alan's fate is in the hands of strangers


Tuesday, June 13, 2006

It feels good when you know you're down

Trying to decide which MMORPG to devote your every waking hour to? Watch this short educational video that illustrates the differences between Guild Wars and World of Warcraft.

The Twilight Singers show was kickass last night, and I also really liked one of the opening acts, Afterhours. Check em out.

Now why would Alan ever stop doing this?


Monday, June 12, 2006

C'mon baby, Let me set you free

I'm going to see The Twilight Singers tonight, y'all are welcome to join me. Rumor has it the Granite Kitchen Countertops will be opening, should be a rockin' good time.

Alan makes you feel you can't stand still


Sunday, June 11, 2006

Who gives the orders here?

Alan thinks it would be awesome if we could dance


Tuesday, May 16, 2006

They say I got a lot of water in my brain

Real Craigslist personal ad headlines and my knee-jerk reaction to them.

Great girl looking for a great guy - 24 (Lakewood)

Must want great children and have great hair.

Easy as 1 2 3. - 29 (Denver/Golden)

Extra points for referencing a Seventies pop song, on the other hand anything that reminds me of Michael Jackson makes my eyes bleed.

Dorky Quirky Super-Geek - 26 (Parker)

Say it loud, say it proud, say whether you are one or are looking for one.



Alan ain't gonna face no defeat


Friday, May 12, 2006

But try to understand...try to understand

I don't hate David Blaine, as much as I am bored by him, my usual reaction to news of his wacky shenanigans is ennui.

However, I recently read a story that some of his antics (and the preparation for them) are doing extreme damage to his health. This made me ponder a little bit on the price of fame and fortune. If you had to choose between living in lonely squalor for 50 more years in a fleabag Hotel room with only broadcast tv, and living for 5 in the lap of luxury with lots of money and egoboo, which would you pick?

Alan has got the Magic Hands


Monday, April 17, 2006

I'd Rather Die, Than Give You Control

While I respect people's rights to have their own religious beliefs, I do feel the urge to mock those who seemingly try to exploit their religion for personal gain or gratification, even if it is schadenfreunde.

From Sploid via The Advice Goddess, comes the tale of Dominik Diamond, an ex-gameshow host who had planned to make a documentary about himself being crucified, only to back out at the last minute. If the documentary does go forward, I think the soundtrack needs to include the Nine Inch Nails' song, "Hands Got No Holes".

Alan has got money, he'd do anything for you


Friday, April 07, 2006

Gimme Toro, Gimme Some More

Hey kids, time for my monthly post about nothing in particular.

I quit the Iron Maiden thing, was becoming severely unfun to be regularly and repeatedly told that I was not someone I am not. Nothing on the near horizon, but sometime this Summer I'll probably sing with One Time Only (punk cover band). In addition to Rise Above, I'm also planning on doing The Angry Samoans' "Lights Out".

I had some kind of hideous cold, that laid me out flat for almost a week, and took two more to (almost) totally leave my system. I blame Flasshe.

My car is running again, which in theory will make my social life interesting and worthy of sharing with both of you again, unfortunately I'm still suffering from cold-related low energy.

I went for three months doing the minimum essential laundry when I didn't have a car. Last Sunday I spent 3 hours and $16.00 in quarters washing practically every piece of cloth I own.

I have a digital meat thermometer that sounds an alarm when the meat hits the desired temperature. It hasn't supplanted the computer in my heart as my favorite appliance of all time, but it is damn good at what it does, and so far it hasn't pulled a Trapper-Keeper and started assimilating any of the other appliances.

Two of the phrases I coined today, "angst-ridden Hungarian Yakuza", and "low-key action hijinks", do not come up on a Google search (though "Hungarian Yakuza" by itself does). That will change once this page loads. Internet, consider this my gift to you, a small token of my appreciation for all the hours we have spent together.

Alan has the shrunken head you love to adore


Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Faster than the speed of gravity

Why are you reading my stupid blog instead of listening to this.

That's how Alan catches you from falling


Monday, March 06, 2006

You ain't nothing but a hound dog

This has no doubt circulated many times before, but it was new to me. Dead critters are a dog's best friend. Hat tip to Andrew Sullivan.

Alan is crying with laughter all the time


Wednesday, March 01, 2006

My mind is all confusion

Hey there! Quiet times here at the Casa de Alan. I am enjoying the beautiful weather though (70s for the highs this week). Especially considering two weeks ago it got down to 10 below with 15 mph winds. Put a serious crimp in my party plans, since I was too much of a wimp to face the prospect of a 20 minute wait between buses to get home, and my car is currently non-operational.

I've been working hard on the Iron Maiden thing, but now I'm not sure it's going to work out. I got lectured yesterday because I wasn't memorizing lyrics fast enough, and am not doing the Bruce Dickinson stage moves. I'm not that guy, nor will I ever be, and I'm not in the kind of physical shape to try to carry that off, which should have been clear from the start. Considering the person lecturing me was the one who approached me about doing the project to start with, I'm a little resentful about what appears to be a dramatic shift in expectations. I made it abundantly clear I'll be glad to step aside without drama if they want to bring in someone else, so we'll see.

Some kickass shows coming up at the LL this month. March 18th it's Electric Six. Not only is that a Saturday night, but the next day is a rest day for the band, so I'm expecting all the stops to be ripped from their sockets. March 20th it's The Dirtbombs. A Monday night, unfortunately, but I'm predicting a personal day in my future.

For some reason, Haloscan is only intermittently sending me comment notifications. If I missed replying to your comment, it's probably cause I didn't realize it was there, and I'll try to remember to check manually.

Alan's got to find, some serious piece of mind


Wednesday, February 08, 2006

The parachute's in my bag, I'm throwing it over to you

Play the Soundtrack to this post

Hey kids, want some ear candy? The soundtrack to this post is one of my all-time favorite songs, "Poppies" from the The Teardrop Explodes' album "Kilimanjaro". This song used to played a lot on KTCL before they started sucking, but I know the album mostly because the New Wave cover (we did a few originals too) band I used to be in did the song "Treason" from the same album. I'm not sure we ever performed that song in front of an audience, though considering we only performed about 3 times in front of others there were lots of songs we didn't "share".

In other Alan-centric news, I'd like to thank all those who drank with me, refrained from beating my ass, or poured me into cabs during my weeklong Bacchanalian adventure. Sadly, I'm back to the usual grind of smokin' weed and makin' money, but I'll be sure to give you plenty of advance notice for the next one so you can clear your calendars.

The future may hold the awesome spectacle of your's truly fronting an Iron Maiden tribute band for a limited number of engagements for a select audience. Run for the Hills, or go Where Eagles Dare.

Alan was born into a scene of angriness and greed


Tuesday, January 24, 2006

And the story was whatever was the song what it was

Sequels no one really needs to see:

Star Trek XIII: The Mylanta Manuever

Jaws 6: Landshark

Caddyshack 3: Laundry Day

Groundhog Day: 234567891011121131415161718

Breakin' 3: I think I felt something tear in my scrotum

Alan play the movies all night long


Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Thinking of a master plan

Greetings fellow babies! One of the things that always complicates the process of compiling a best/favorite list of the year for me is I keep hearing stuff I really like late. Such as Thunderbirds Are Now! and now (as the fine folks at Drink at Work refer to him) Tim "MOTHERFUCKIN" Fite!!!. Shame on me for not giving his stuff a chance earlier, but I think I'll cheat and include a song on my mix CD. Speaking of which, I'm debating either going to 2 discs or making an MP3 CD, since there are tons of songs I want to include (though the number of albums in consideration for me is a fair bit less than last year).

I tried to get a crew to play hooky today and do karaoke with me last night, and of the 10+ people I invited, well let's just say a table for two was more space than our group really needed. I had fun though. It surprises me I still get a little bit of stage fright sometimes, and there are times when it's more logical that I would that I'm cool and confident. Anyway, though they have a great selection at Bender's, they're a little light on the old school rap, which I wanted to do as a change of pace from my Elvis/Sinatra/Righteous Brothers/White Stripes comfort zone. Ah well.

Going to a take a week's vacation the end of January/beginning of February. Got a birthday coming and am contemplating some seriously Bacchanalian revels.

Alan is def with the record


Tuesday, January 03, 2006

It's so hot, that we might melt

Stop what you're doing and stream the new Thunderbirds Are Now! album. Remember, I was right about the comet. Available at Emusic.

Alan's body adjusts to the temperature.


Monday, December 12, 2005

Be kind to our web-footed friends

When I'm not scaling the outside of luxury high-rises by night, I work in a small office building. As I've shared before, this building has communal restroom facilities. Today as I was finishing my raccoon-like ablutions, a gentlemen came in and entered one of the stalls. Nothing unusual so far, but within a few seconds of the stall door closing, the thrilling (if somewhat tinny) sounds of John Phillip Souza's "The Washington Post" came from behind the door. I had never considered the possibility of a soundtrack to accompany the lowering of my trousers, but I'm sorely tempted now. More along the lines of "Danger! High Voltage", though.

Alan wants to know about those kids starting fires


Saturday, December 10, 2005

Do people have a tendency to dump on you?

Speaking of bad science fiction dialog.

"Run an immediate check on channels 100 to infinity!" (emphasis mine)

Nothing like making with the rocking and the rolling and the drinking, then getting up with a little bit of a buzz left and watching 60s tv shows.

Alan is going to hurry up and order one