Dazed and Bemused

Drunken recollections, boring anecdotes, and obscure references

Monday, April 17, 2006

I'd Rather Die, Than Give You Control

While I respect people's rights to have their own religious beliefs, I do feel the urge to mock those who seemingly try to exploit their religion for personal gain or gratification, even if it is schadenfreunde.

From Sploid via The Advice Goddess, comes the tale of Dominik Diamond, an ex-gameshow host who had planned to make a documentary about himself being crucified, only to back out at the last minute. If the documentary does go forward, I think the soundtrack needs to include the Nine Inch Nails' song, "Hands Got No Holes".

Alan has got money, he'd do anything for you


Friday, April 07, 2006

Gimme Toro, Gimme Some More

Hey kids, time for my monthly post about nothing in particular.

I quit the Iron Maiden thing, was becoming severely unfun to be regularly and repeatedly told that I was not someone I am not. Nothing on the near horizon, but sometime this Summer I'll probably sing with One Time Only (punk cover band). In addition to Rise Above, I'm also planning on doing The Angry Samoans' "Lights Out".

I had some kind of hideous cold, that laid me out flat for almost a week, and took two more to (almost) totally leave my system. I blame Flasshe.

My car is running again, which in theory will make my social life interesting and worthy of sharing with both of you again, unfortunately I'm still suffering from cold-related low energy.

I went for three months doing the minimum essential laundry when I didn't have a car. Last Sunday I spent 3 hours and $16.00 in quarters washing practically every piece of cloth I own.

I have a digital meat thermometer that sounds an alarm when the meat hits the desired temperature. It hasn't supplanted the computer in my heart as my favorite appliance of all time, but it is damn good at what it does, and so far it hasn't pulled a Trapper-Keeper and started assimilating any of the other appliances.

Two of the phrases I coined today, "angst-ridden Hungarian Yakuza", and "low-key action hijinks", do not come up on a Google search (though "Hungarian Yakuza" by itself does). That will change once this page loads. Internet, consider this my gift to you, a small token of my appreciation for all the hours we have spent together.

Alan has the shrunken head you love to adore