They say I got a lot of water in my brain

Real Craigslist personal ad headlines and my knee-jerk reaction to them.

Great girl looking for a great guy - 24 (Lakewood)

Must want great children and have great hair.

Easy as 1 2 3. - 29 (Denver/Golden)

Extra points for referencing a Seventies pop song, on the other hand anything that reminds me of Michael Jackson makes my eyes bleed.

Dorky Quirky Super-Geek - 26 (Parker)

Say it loud, say it proud, say whether you are one or are looking for one.

LOOKING FOR MY DESTINY...ARE YOU HIM???? - 52 (HIGHLANDS RANCH)

ZOMG!! I SOOO AM! LET'S GET MARRIED RIGHT AWAY AND I'LL TEACH YOU TO PLAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT AND YOU CAN JOIN MY GUILD AND I'LL TOTALLY HELP YOU LEVEL AND STUFF.

Alan ain't gonna face no defeat