Dazed and Bemused

Drunken recollections, boring anecdotes, and obscure references

Friday, June 17, 2005

Is she really going to take him home tonight?

Presented as a helpful guide, I can't guarantee that none of these would work.

Lines to avoid when you're drunk and trying to pickup a local musician.

"I like your tattoo of two dogs fucking in a dark room"

"The best part of your set was that cover you did. You should do a lot more songs by that band"

"Your (other band member) is really hot"

"I like your hair, my Mom won't let me dye mine that color"

"I've got a home studio, I bet I could make your vocals sound halfway decent"

"I'm a musician too, my friends and I are in a Manilow tribute band called The Man-Dees. Get it?"

"I'm an A&R guy for (Mom's basement size local record label). Want to come back to my place and give me a "showcase"?"

"Did you play already?"

"I've got irritable bowel syndrome and the bathrooms here are gross, can I use the one at your place?"

"I don't have any money or drugs, but I know a guy if you want to buy some for the both of us"

"Would you like to hear my testimony?"

"I'm a freelance rock journalist"

"Hi, my name's Poindexter"

"That amp sure looks heavy, make sure you lift with your legs"

"If you're nice to me I'll blog about your show"

Alan thinks there's something going on around here